Recently as a Christian in America I have been struggling with how I fit in within the grand scheme of the Kingdom. Saying this I do not mean I am struggling with my identity as much as I am saying how does it all work? The bible portrays the early church as a very active force, a force that is almost super hero like and seems to impact the areas that it touches on a regular basis. The early church seemed to truly be one that was transformational in its surroundings. I take this passion and drive of the church of Acts and start to look at how it applies to me today. What created this effort that was so powerful?
I am lead to look first at who was doing this? It was men and women that had a personal interaction with Christ and then those that were touched by the Holy Spirit. They had faith that meant something to them because they wanted to be close to their Lord as well as reach out to others. How did they preserve this passion?
I am embarking on a journey in my life as a pastor because I will be solo at the church. It is a time of transition and uncertainty which drives me to my knees on a daily basis. I am striving to help those in my care to press closer to God and seek His heart for them. When I look at the Church of Acts I begin to weep because I feel in many ways we are so far from the mark. I begin to look at my own world and ask how does this change? How did we get here? What do I as a pastor need to do to lead in this day in age?
Being a pastor in today’s age means I have a mark on me. When I say the word pastor people automatically have a built up stereotype or generalization of who a pastor is, what we do, and how we act. Its almost automatic for many depending on their background. Lately this has been a weight on me. I have spent so long not to live inside a box of others and now…the box is so well defined by those in my world that I tend to want to just rip it away completely and not have that title at all. Did those in the Church of Acts deal with this label?
I guess where I am going with all this I think is what does it mean to me today? How do I lead in a time when Christians are so poorly defined in our culture? A time when the term Christian is not welcomed always, when being a pastor is not necessarily a positive word, and finally a time when people are searching for a “spiritual” connection to those around them…how do I function around all this?
As I look back on Anabaptist history and reflect this with the Church of Acts I see disciplines formed. Ways of creating good formations of their spiritual life that keeps themselves strong under the times of pressure. Whether its communion or prayer it seems that in order to succeed there needs to be a way of passing on what is good to those that go ahead of us. Recently I feel that as a pastor in the post modern world there is a disconnect from pastors of previous generations to a point where I feel that sometimes I am teaching the old dogs instead of them teaching this pup. Its hard some days.
Recently I have been finding myself pressing for the discipleship that Paul shows to the church leaders of the early day. Pressing to be in relationship with other pastors to sharpen me and push me into something more than I am now. Wanting to be pushed into a direction that creates a stronger man of God is what my heart’s desire is. It has been very difficult forming this wise counsel. It seems that many pastors are just getting by and not really pushing their congregations to grow…I could also just be critical, but it seems that with all these churches around me our towns should look vastly different. Our towns should at least be changing for the better instead I see area after area around me looking bleaker and bleaker. I guess in the end I want to see growth of the Kingdom around me and I want to be a part of it.
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Tags: American Church, christian, God, ministry, missional, pastor
Posted in God, church, pastor |
